By Ashley Blankenship

This year I have decided I will make only one New Year’s Resolution. Rather than making lists and setting many goals, I simply resolve to do one thing differently in 2018.

I can shed a few pounds, I am sure I will read my Bible, and I will run through a list of books I want to read. I know I will exercise some, try to eat better, and pray more.

So here I will post my 2018 resolution. Only one. I will make it a public resolution, so my friends and family can keep me accountable.

It’s very simple actually. But this one simple resolution will literally trickle over into EVERY area of my life. It has the potential to transform my home, my family, and my relationships. I’ve prayed about this and the Lord has led me to this one simple resolution in 2018…

I resolve to be kinder to myself. There. I said it. Sometimes I am my own worst critic. I will no longer expect perfection or near-perfection. I will allow myself to have “down days” where I relax and don’t fret about the dust bunnies. I will allow myself time to enjoy my kids and play with them in the middle of a messy house that looks nothing like that Pin on Pinterest or the living room I saw in the magazine. I will be more patient with myself when the dishes pile, the church and home to-do lists never seem to end and I’m days behind on laundry. I will stop the negative self-talk that says I’m always messing up, I don’t measure up, I don’t do this or that like this Facebook friend or this professional blogger or this Pastor’s wife or that friend.

I tend to always focus on the mistakes I make, or the things I am failing at, or my shortcomings and imperfections. I am always shooting for perfection and beating myself up if I do not make it. If my house doesn’t look like the magazine, I feel the tension inside. If my kids aren’t all put together, I blame myself. If I didn’t finish all the projects on my list, I must’ve been too lazy, even though I worked from 7:00 am to 1:00 am… THE NEXT DAY.

Time flies. So, I can’t waste a minute of 2018 worrying about how I’m doing. The reality is, those are minutes wasted. What is done is done and what matters is that my husband and children are loved, and they love me. The IMPERFECT me. The me that doesn’t complete the to-do list. The me that is comfortable having fun in the midst of a mess that I really should be cleaning up.

So, in 2018 I will no longer hold myself to impossible standards that I would never place on anyone else. If someone tells me I need a break, I will listen. Maybe their standards for me are not nearly as high as those I have set for myself. In 2018 I will take credit for what I do and stop focusing on what I don’t get to. In 2018 I will ask myself this question, “Would I berate another woman the way I’m doing to myself right now? Or would I cut her some slack and tell her she’s doing a great job and just needs to take a break?” Then I will take my own advice. No more internal lectures.

My new kindness to myself will make me a better mom. I will play more and laugh more and have more fun. I will be a better wife because I will be less anxious and annoyed with myself. I will have time to exercise and plan a healthy meal because I will MAKE time for me, sometimes at the sacrifice of mopping the floors. I will be reading my Bible and spending more time in prayer because the pressure is off. I’m turning it off. I’m going to read a list of good books and maybe even take a nap on one of those 365 days!

So rather than a list of resolutions and goals for the New Year… I simply will resolve this one thing… and women, it’s probably something most of us could resolve to do…

Be kind to yourself. You’re doing a great job.